Why is sex so taboo to talk about?
We chat with Frances Tang, CEO and founder of Awkward Essentials, about Sexual Health Awareness Month.
Disclaimer: Please note that we, nor our guest speaker, are medical experts. If you need or seek medical attention after reading this article or have specific questions related to your health, we advise you to seek a medical professional.
The question in the title came to mind while reviewing recognition holidays and awareness months for September. As we’ve Notedd in previous issues, September is National Hispanic Heritage Month, Self-Improvement Awareness Month, and Self-Care Awareness Month.
Did you know that it’s also Sexual Health Awareness Month? It’s honestly not the first thing that comes up when you even google September.
So, let’s say you look up sexual health. Most of your research will likely bring up numerous studies and resources regarding contraception types, sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and the statistics for each within specific communities. All are vital, important, and necessary. However, in addition to these crucial topics, what about the general conversations about sex, specifically for women? For example, what are your options for after-sex cleanup, or what does the color of your discharge mean?
There is a need (and we probably could argue there is also an interest) to start having more upfront conversations about sex and sexual health in general — especially within communities of color. This negative stigma about sex has been around for years, decades, and even generations, which has trickled into a negative stigma around sexual health. It was often a closed-door conversation, or it was “grown folks business.” Soon enough, it became our business. 🙃
The World Health Organization defines sexual health as follows:
“Sexual health, when viewed affirmatively, requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination, and violence.”
We want to be a part of changing the sex / sexual health narrative to be more open, positive, and affirming. Thus, we decided to interview Frances Tang, founder of Awkward Essentials. Frances created Awkward Essentials to shift the culture through their innovative product, encourage transparency regarding feminine hygiene, and destigmatize conversations around taboo topics such as comfort and sex.
Learn more about Frances, Awkward Essentials, and her thoughts on the importance of sexual health awareness.
Tell us a little about yourself.
I grew up in the Bay Area and always assumed that I would someday go to college, get a job in a glass office building, and take the ‘normal’ route. Initially, I did just that, finding a job in corporate marketing that paid the bills but left me feeling uninspired. To nurture my creative side, I was always taking on side projects. I’m a multipotentialite — I can’t just do one thing (or even a few things) for the rest of my life. Before inventing the dripstick and starting Awkward Essentials, I had more than a dozen different jobs: a Marketing Manager, Baker, Matchmaker, and a Hula dancer. These roles have given me experience in different industries that helps bring a unique POV to my business.
I love spending time with my husband, family (my parents are my biggest supporters!), and friends. I watch cake-decorating videos like people watch TV. As an avid baker with a sweet tooth, I am mesmerized by the whole process. I’m also addicted to YouTube videos showcasing back-of-house commercial bakeries. The sound of pots and pans clacking around is almost nostalgic for me and reminds me of being a little kid, hearing my Mom moving dishes around in the kitchen. It’s like my version of ASMR. I love grocery store cake and can eat a whole box of cereal in one sitting.
What's your favorite quote or mantra?
I love this quote from Lemony Snicket: “If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.” It emphasizes the importance of going ahead and getting started — just trying something when you’re a founder. If I hadn’t taken the leap, I’d still be daydreaming!
Please share the founding story behind your company, Awkward Essentials. How did it start from the idea of a spatula to being the world's first after sex clean up sponge?
I’m married, and I always hated the after sex clean up ritual. The crossed-leg-ninja roll off the bed, penguin walk to the bathroom, and camp out on the toilet was not the business. My hacked together solution of toilet paper, crusty old t-shirts, towels and showers still inevitably led to next day gushing, wet sheets and ruined underwear.
Like many founders, I’ve had a lot of jobs. One of them was as a baker. There is a very common kitchen tool called a rubber spatula, and it’s typically used to scrape all the last bits of cake batter out of a bowl (know where this is going…?). So everytime I would scrape batter out of a bowl, I’d think about inventing a spatula to get all the last bits of goo out of my vagina…
In short, the idea for dripstick started at the intersection of baking and laziness.
As we shine a light on Sexual Health Awareness Month, why do you think it's important to raise awareness on sexual health?
While many schools have sex education programs, they often glaze over the real issues and cause more confusion among the audience. By raising awareness for sexual health, we are educating and simultaneously destigmatizing topics that we have been conditioned to think of as shameful or taboo. There is nothing taboo about our bodies — the more we talk about it, the more commonplace it will become!
What would you say is important for women to know when it comes to sexual health?
When it comes to sexual health, I think it’s important for women to know that it is totally OK to prioritize their own comfort. When I came up with the idea for dripstick, I was looking to solve a personal issue that I was dealing with — we are too often told to push feelings (whether physical or emotional!) to the side, and it’s time for that to stop. If you’re physically and mentally comfortable in the bedroom, everything else will come easily.
Your company is focused on "providing personal solutions for hella personal problems," which started with a problem you were facing. How is Awkward Essentials changing the narrative when it comes to talking about sex (after-sex, particularly) and sexual health?
In 2021, we are still working to destigmatize conversations around taboo topics such as feminine hygiene, comfort and sex. Many people, including women, either feel too awkward to talk about these issues and/or don’t feel that they have a community of individuals to talk to these things about, which is where Awkward Essentials shines. As a female-founded and lead brand, we have a strong brand voice that targets women and opens up those conversations around feminine hygiene.
With our current product dripstick, we give consumers the ability to not feel “awkward” about their post-sex cleanup, helping them make those moments a little more comfortable. By using humor and a raw approach, we are able to break those barriers with consumers and make the conversations lighter and comfortable to talk about. Our brand encourages a shift in our culture through our innovative product and transparency.
Over the past year, we’ve leaned heavily on social media to best express our mission and personality, which is rooted in our founder story. We have a private Facebook group where consumers can openly ask questions, discuss their different experiences with the product, and be open and honest about personal problems. We are proud to be transparent in tackling those “awkward” topics, making the conversations more approachable for women. Our mission from the start has been to be unapologetically honest and to destigmatize the way we talk about femigine hygiene and comfort. Our social media reflects this through quirky memes, personal reviews of the product, and social calls to action. We want to provide a safe space for people to be themselves without having to apologize, and break down barriers when it comes to women’s health and less-talked about topics.
What are some things that we should know about when it comes to after sex clean up?
After-sex cleanup does NOT need to be as uncomfortable as it has likely been for you in the past and yes, it is something others go through! With dripstick, you can say goodbye to crusty towels and wet sheets and use a simple, medical-grade sponge to quickly and easily clean yourself up after sex. I also want people to know that they should not be embarrassed or ashamed of after-sex cleanup — or any personal hygiene matters. Just because you don’t see it in books or movies, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. At Awkward Essentials, we’re aiming to candidly address these topics that have gone untalked about for far too long.
In your opinion, what are some common misconceptions/myths when it comes to sexual health?
The most common misconception we hear is that you can “pee out the cum.” We’re always telling our community that those are different holes! We have a fun series called “Wellness Wednesdays” where we clear up common misconceptions like vulva vs. vagina, demystifying discharge and more. We’ve also shared posts that reveal statistics surrounding sex and comfort, how the birth control pill works and answer questions like, what exactly is a doula? We want our consumers to learn something from our posts, in addition to being entertained!
What are some sexual health resources (books, articles, influencers to follow) that you could recommend?
As a founder of a company helping women improve their sexual experiences, Cindy Gallop’s TED Talk, “Make love, not porn” impacted me so much in just four minutes and is always recommended. Cindy discusses how hardcore porn has skewed a generation’s understanding of what real sex looks like. Her company, MakeLoveNotPorn, is also an incredible resource as she is working to introduce the world to real sex between real couples.
How can our subscribers stay connected with you and Awkward Essentials?
The best way to stay connected with us is by following Awkward Essentials on Instagram, TikTok & Facebook! I am also on Instagram & LinkedIn.
Let’s continue these conversations!
We hope you were able to take away something from our chat with Frances. These are the conversations we will have more often, and a benefit when you join our community platform. This platform will be a safe, dedicated space for us all stay informed and connected to the issues and conversations that matter to us.
You can become a Fall 2021 founding member for free and save 15% off the first quarter membership in 2022 when you sign up through our crowdfunding campaign. When you click on “fund it” on your phone or review the list of rewards on the right side column on your desktop, you can select this reward and automatically sign up for the platform. We can’t wait to see you there and have more of these conversations in the forefront.
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